I lived in Capitola and that county all my life. well 38 yrs. I moved up to PNW. I have been to Friday Harbor. I am a caregiver. #1 is TAKE CARE OF SELF ! learned the hard way.I enjoyed your talk Thank You.
I moved in with my Mom who is 87 2 years ago. Its awful I love her but I dont want to live with her. She is fairly independent but we clash all the time. I am an RN and work on a Psychiatric unit. Its all too much. I dont have anyone I can talk honestly about this. I am praying praying
Same situation over 10 yrs ifewllike I can’t go on anymore and I’m not losing my marbles when my kids need me. I’ve decided someone else needs to step in otherwise I have no choice but to apply to a care home for her.
things won’t get better but worse with your mother aging . If you can’t cope you need to find alternatives for her. If she’s independent are there assisted living units where you are? That way you get some space she gets ppl checking on her you don’t need to worry . You can choose when you go over and step out when you have disagreements . Your relationship will improve
This is an awesome video....I only wish it were longer...I will check out the website... I have been researching this stuff lately as I have really needed to for my own self care...Thank you Patricia Smith...God bless...
Wonderful work Dr Smith! Many organizations give lip service to this though are not taking it seriously enough to ensure safeguards are in place and part of our workplaces. Thanks so much for this talk. I am a nurse, ED Trauma, and have worked for 41+ years as a nurse. I am also a Holistic Practitioner and energy worker in Ontario. We need to hear more of this here in Ontario.
I agree! I have been taking care of my elderly parents for over 3 years. My Dad died in May, and now my abusive 86 year old mother has turned into an unrecognizable monster. She's so nice to my sister, and so sweet when other people are here, but when they leave, she is so cruel and abusive to me that no one would ever believe it. She says terrible, cruel things to me all the time, and often lies to our family and friends about me, telling them I don't take care of her, or that I was mean to her when all I do is love her and take care of her. It seems to get worse every day. My heart is broken. I think I was better off when I almost believed her that everything was my fault. Now that she's so outrageously cruel, I can't kid myself anymore that it's just old age, or that she doesn't know what she is doing. She's aware enough to lie about it and hide it in front of other people, so she must know what she is doing to me. I don't get any support from my brothers or sisters. If I try to talk to them, they scold me! I don't know what to do. Some days I am ready to give up.
That is very inspiring, and it is very important for me knowing that I am not alone. I just do not think that accepting the world as abusive as it is and the entire situation as a norm, is too good. Perhaps today it is a norm, but have to change and we are the people to change it. It probably wont happen in our generation, but we have to start from something (and enable ourselves to rest in between the rescues : ).
the best the best talk i ever heard on compassion fatigue.. your story is also my story i wonder how much i have taken it forgathered never dealt as a care giver i need it i am going to show to Nurses in our hospital
Caregivers walk a tightrope with empathy on the left and apathy on the right. Some of us must maintain that delicate balance for years at a time. Too far left leaves us sick and exhausted. Too far right leaves us completely ineffective and defensive. It is truly part of the art of caregiving.
Work out if you need to pay.
When you know your gain you need to work out if you need to report and pay Capital Gains Tax.
You may be able to work out how much tax to pay on your shares.
the same type, acquired in the same company on the same date sold at the same time.
sold other shares in the tax year sold other chargeable assets in the tax year, such as a property you let out claim any reliefs are a company, agent, trustee or personal representative.
Reporting a loss.
The rules are different if you need to report a loss.
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shares you bought at different times and prices in one company shares through an investment club shares after a company merger or takeover employee share scheme shares.
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If you sell shares or investments that you own jointly with other people, work out the gain for the portion that you own, instead of the whole value. There are different rules for investment clubs.
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