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Caregiver Training: Refusal to Bathe | UCLA Alzheimer's and Dementia Care

1765 ratings | 312442 views
The UCLA Alzheimer's and Dementia Care Video series provides viewers with practical tools you can use in a variety of settings to create a safe, comfortable environment both for the person with dementia and the caregiver. To learn more about the UCLA Alzheimer's and Dementia Care, please visit https://www.uclahealth.org/dementia/caregiver-education-videos
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Text Comments (187)
Maunster! (1 day ago)
I challenge UCLA to do another video about bathing and showering in a grubby homecare situation and the client is only allocated a half an hour instead of a spacious new house already equipped.
glimpseofparadise (3 days ago)
It takes a lot of patience and bargaining. Have to make them feel they're still in control while strategically redirecting them to what they need to accomplish. Lots and lots of bargaining. "I can get you what you want if you ..." in a nice way. Preparation, the whole convincing thing and the activity itself sometimes take about half an hour to an hour. In nursing homes who take care about 30+ residents, 24 hr period is not enough if it only has fewer staffs. It's really really great if families can participate in care. Residents normally listen to their families more than the staffs.
Sheri JK (4 days ago)
I used to help my mom take care of her mom and it was much more frustrating that raising kids.
I love noodles (4 days ago)
Can we just see a real life example instead of an acting video? That's really sad that the "training" tells you to tell someone that bathing in their own home is a spa treatment, that's being manipulative and making your loved one or patient feel like, you think that they are an idiot. I know because it happens to me. I'm all for tactics, but this video is good in class concept, horrible in delivery.
Vytautas Ramanauskas (11 days ago)
whats the salary for such a hard job
Maunster! (1 day ago)
Vytautas Ramanauskas, thank you for your question and reply.
+Maunster! thats horrible no wonder they cannot find staff
Maunster! (1 day ago)
Less than minimum wage because the caregivers often pay for things out of pocket.
THETOASTERHEAD (12 days ago)
My grandmother has got deminta that effects her speech. So when she talks she struggles to get the words out. But she also will refuse to do new stuff.
MIXERtixer (14 days ago)
1:58 idk but I feel like this is a start of a lesbian porno tbh lmao
Michelle Gordon (16 days ago)
...and have a couple of towels tumbling in the dryer so you can wrap them up in something nice and warm at the end of it...
todd (22 days ago)
I am really surprised that you were able to get the elder into a bathing space that requires stepping over a bathtub rim. This is the most unrealistic part of this video. The first step to getting your elder to bath is to remodel your bathroom into a walk-in shower.
Jupiter Stars (23 days ago)
Really sweet ❤ Elderly are still people and deserve respect. Especially in thier last days on Earth
Kamlesh Vaish (24 days ago)
Please explain in hindi
judie dimatteo (27 days ago)
there is always ways to get people to bath or shower uou can take them out to shop
piggypigpig (28 days ago)
Fake
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Bob Buffpants (30 days ago)
I feel bad for the fact she has to see her mother naked
fiona scheibel (1 month ago)
I have sensory issues and dont like showers, baths or brushing my teeth. So i kind of get why someone might try to avoid those things.
Marie Bernard (1 month ago)
Thank you
creator (1 month ago)
I was wondering if it was acceptable to keep a dementia patient locked inside of their room. I was once working with a health care aide who baracaded the door so the patient couldn't get out of the room. The patient wasn't sleeping or anything, just wanted to be active. Is it correct to lock them down just to make it easier on the health care aid so the health care aid is able to sit and collect pay for texting on her phone? Do you think it is medical staff's job to provide better care for a dementia patient than just baraccading the door? This is what happens when family goes home sometimes, and it hurts me to see this at my work. But, the nurses don't seem to care because, well, they don't have to deal with the patient.
Regina Jabalde (1 month ago)
Not an easy job but rewarding,,,God bless us with patience...
MAS (1 month ago)
This is why assisted suicide should be legal. No way am I gonna put my caretakers through this. Like things will ever improve.
vegan girl (1 month ago)
Is this real or acting?
Jesse Eliasen (1 month ago)
obviously you guys don't work an actual professional health Care in a nursing home this doesn't work you can be the most politest person or have the most gentle approach all right the series flawed just like triggers are flawed things just happen at random. This is not how it actually works in real life y'all need to know that.when you're in school and educating yourself on being a PSW becoming a PSW be prepared because school does not teach you what it's actually like when you actually hit the floor it's a slap in the face because all your education goes out the window. Like this gets extreme shit you turn your back for a second they could stab you with something why because it's at random there is no triggers there is no gentle approach doesn't matter the lack of actual information in this video on what actually happens in nursing homes is insulting to the profession.
Eliot451 (1 month ago)
Your mother needs to die. It's her time to go. She's finished. By prolonging her life you're only making her suffer more.
Eliot451 (12 hours ago)
+PJ S My 89 year old mother has Alzheimer’s disease. The difference between what she was 6 years ago and what she is today is as stark as the collapse of the World Trade Center. Six months ago my mom told me that she was in hell and that she wanted to die. Those were her very last coherent words. She wants to die. The kindest thing anyone could say to me is that they hope my mom will pass away soon, but no one says that. Instead they say that vitamin C will make her better. They say that people who attend church live longer. They say that the new miracle diet will work wonders. They say that prayer to Mother Teresa has cured cancer. They say that homeopathy can cure Alzheimer’s, why you just have to believe, all you need is faith. Say hallelujah! So are you going to recommend that I try pixie dust?
PJ S (16 hours ago)
How would you feel if someone said that about one of your loved ones or you?Hope you aren't taking care of anyone and I pity them if you are.
Grace Bediako (1 month ago)
Eliot451 that’s messed up
xur (1 month ago)
Even though this is sad instead of spending money to keep people like this alive we should be spending money to help find a cure or effective prevention.
Finance Emails (1 month ago)
Thank you for sharing your informative video clips.......caregivers please visit www.chadedu.org
TINA LEAR (1 month ago)
The actors involved are doing a lovely job of saying their lines. But that's not how it actually happens in our house. We've tried approaching my mother-in-law gently in just the way suggested. "NO!" is the answer. Or "I already took my shower this morning!" (not true) Any suggestions about proceeding with the undressing is met with argument, vigorous argument. There is no "Oh, ok." It doesn't happen. There is screaming and biting and kicking. And that only happened because it had been two and a half MONTHS since the last shower, and we finally decided the shower was more important than her dignity. I would love to see a video that showed genuine, all out, no bullshit RESISTANCE, and what to do about THAT.
TINA LEAR (16 days ago)
Thank you Sierra. The bed bath works really well. Doesn't really wash her hair, but it works for everything else and that's a big plus. Really appreciate your reply. Hope all is well with you and your loved ones. Thanks again.  +Sierra P
Sierra P (19 days ago)
Have you tried bed baths? Soft wash cloth with soapy water? You can also try making her a bath poncho which is just an extra large towel cut in the middle to make a head hole. Also if she doesnt leave the house often, you might want to get hospital gowns for her to wear around or modify night gowns so they snap button either in thw back or shoulders to make the process quicker. Have her put the bath poncho on first then remove the gown...its a process...might see if she will give herself a bed bath...with supervision of course.
I Luh Da Gram (1 month ago)
God Bless everyone who is caring for their older baby!
Adam Boudili (1 month ago)
so heartbreaking.. god bless anyone who experience this with their parents..
Angon Rahman (2 months ago)
I am trying to find way to cure alzheimer with herbs.. you can contact me
Yahir Garcia (2 months ago)
Do people with Alzheimer’s also have problems with showers and being clean
Grey Bar0n (2 months ago)
6 months ago I was working a 9 to 5 job I loved and playing video games on the weekends. Now I'm far from my home helping a parent with rapidly progressing dementia. Toughest thing I've ever done.
kes S (1 month ago)
Sincerely wishing you all the best, Grey. I'm a retired RN (still have my license) looking after a 96 year old parent with dementia. Even with a lot of years of nursing experience behind me, it's very difficult. You are a SAINT for giving up so much to help an aging parent. But you'll never have regrets about what you did. No guilt later on.
Rosa Gonzalez (1 month ago)
Hang in there. It's really hard but God will provide you with all you need. My siblings and I are on year 6. My mom had 2 strokes in 2015 and was rendered unable to walk and barely verbal. I will say in a way it was a blessing because Alzheimer's was taking it's toll. Happy to say she went from hospice and 2 weeks at most to live (per doctors) to celebrating her 88th Birthday this past 15th. I cry a lot because it's like they become little babies again(need feeding,bathing,changing)... but we're thankful for every day with her. God bless you and be with you on your caregiving journey.
Janly Magbanua (2 months ago)
Educational and yet informative.
Debra Seiling (2 months ago)
Thanks for these supportive videos!
Christopher Robin (3 months ago)
Nice, timely video. I give my wife a weekly shower with no protests as yet, but I know what's to come. Thank you.
BERNARDETTE chinwe (3 months ago)
Hello friends do you know that immediately we depart from this earth and stops breathing that's when our life starts or begins. The problem is will it be in heaven with the saints and our heavenly father or in hell with demons and fire. We are consciously and unconsciously making that decisions as we live here on earth today. Our body which we have tried everything bad to please on earth is like mechanic dirty and filthy uniform. Our body which has caused us so much pain and sin against our heavenly father will come off and our soul will be left to stand for judgement. God's standard of judgement is very high and he will never change. That's why l am begging everyone to do what l am doing. Continue to beg our heavenly father for grace and mercy and continue to pray with psalm 51. Please check out voices from hell. Researchers from Russia excavated underground and stumbled across horrible screaming voices coming from underground. It's below our feet and happening even today as we speak. Millions are there, some are our family members. With no light, so hot and dry, no food or water, being tortured by fallen angels known as demons. Hell has existed for thousands of years. So my friends this is not drama, or game but reality of anyone of us that goes to hell. The worst part is that it's for eternity. Remember that we are all in this predicament together and we must pray for one another. May our heavenly father have mercy on us amen
J (4 months ago)
Omg I still remember my grandmother who had Alzheimer’s and how stubborn she was :( looking at my dad face back then was heart broken and my mom who tried kindly to wash her but my grandmother spit at my mom 😢
bestamerica (4 months ago)
' i do remembered and helped bath / shower on my mom in the bathtub before
Lenocas Nascimento (4 months ago)
I used to this with my dad in a very gentle and respectful way. I gave him bath,shave cut his hair dress him without a problem
Helen Kiely-O'Regan (4 months ago)
Unfortunately that would never work for my husband. He becomes psychotic if I or anyone tries to get him to shower no matter how we try. He hasn't washed for over two years and before dementia, he used to shower twice a day
Fay Belle (26 days ago)
Bless your heart 💝⛪🌈
Bryan Abes (4 months ago)
Hi Marshal. Exactly. So in your dad's case, you would call him a king instead of a queen.
Odom Tyr (4 months ago)
Get some lovely smelling soaps and gels, aromatherapy helps and having an elegant peaceful bathroom.
Sheila J (4 months ago)
This is really awkward 🤣
Patty Digar (5 months ago)
I work with Alzheimer's patients everyday and it is all in your approach , body language, and the tone of your voice !!! They do not like showers so when I do get ready to take the one of my ladies into the shower room I make sure everything is ready first of all and then I say let's get cleaned up 9 times out of 10 I never have a problem but if I say shower they're ready to fight 😥 which is totally understandable ! understandable
Elizabeth Marks-Graham (5 months ago)
2 days MAX no shower after that it’s nessisary maybe have them sit on a bench in the tub and use a cup to bath them so they only have their feet in the water sort of like they did with her
Dawn Lynch (7 months ago)
Yep I'm having the same problem you can't force someone to have a bath or a shower in fact I'm having trouble getting her to eat
Sierra P (19 days ago)
Try soft foods or soups...sometimes they forget how to swollow solid foods. If she has forgotten how to eat with utensils it might be frustrating to her which will turn into he not wanting to deal with eatting. Slowly approach her and talk to her before you touch her. Ask if she would like help eatting or what she would like to eat. I find that ensures help me when me patients want to be testy about eatting. They are sweet but packed with the nutrients they need.
Natalie Young (7 months ago)
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belly tripper (5 months ago)
to Natalie Young: you can use words now, like, for example **my grandfather has this horrible disease and it hurts me when he does not know me at all!!!! i can not help him!! :((((**
IP Man (7 months ago)
This is HELL.....! I've seen seniors who are like this....terrible.
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Nikole Wynn (8 months ago)
Set up the shower beforehand, even dotting several washcloths with body wash. Playing calming music to relax, a large bench seat, very soft washcloths in a favorite color, warming the room until fully clothed. Many times I washed hair in the kitchen sink another time and styled at the dining table. This helped to make a routine of washing face, checking ears, moisturizing, and nailcare. It should be a relaxing ritual.
4heartandsoul (8 months ago)
At the mention of a shower, my mother cusses me out, sticks her finger in my face and says she doesn't need an audience and no shower, leave her alone on and on. She drops the F bombs right and left and it's just very stressful experience for her, the CNA's in the nursing home helping her , and for me. Just awful. . .But when it's over she always feels so much better, smiles and all is well with the world so to speak. We take a ride to the Dreamette for an ice cream treat - her favorite. Dementia is such a complicated and ugly illness.
gary richards (19 days ago)
My mother does the same, it sucks!
Crazy Kitty (3 months ago)
I know what mean I’m a volunteer at a nursing home
Slartibartfast (8 months ago)
I have so much respect for people who care for people with dementia - you should all be awarded medals and have free holidays.
Macieeful (7 days ago)
+PeaceMaker I am 18 years old and I've been working as a CNA for almost two years now. I know that caring for someone that is a relative can make the job so much harder than it already is. I go to school from 8 am to 3 15 pm and then go straight to work from 4 pm to 10 30 pm. I understand how emotionally and physically draining it is to feel unappreciated and exhausted. I know it's a hard job but I have to remind myself constantly that even though a lot of us don't get any recognition for what we do for others, we are making a difference. You're making a difference for your grandma everyday and that's so much more than what a lot of people can say
Tracy Holm (13 days ago)
I have been a cna for 26 years, I love caring for the dementia patients. Stressful sometimes, but rewarding.
yuh boii (13 days ago)
Sadly i suffer from dementia and im only 14
Judith Stuart (20 days ago)
+PeaceMaker So unless you personally hire a qualified care-giver, there's no respite for you. You are really in a tough situation. I cared for my dying husband for 2 years, and I honestly could not have done it without respite. Your distress seems very real to me. Have you tried sharing your experience on other sites? Imgur is good, quite supportive and occasionally helpful.
PeaceMaker (21 days ago)
+Judith Stuart yes, I feel like I've been sentenced and no one told me for how long, everything would be easier if I had more help, like at least a minimum wage (even the minimum wage I still think it's not enough cause it's a 24/7 job with very high amount of stress and responsibility cause I'm responsible for a person life and well being) on paper I also have the right to one to three months of vacation a year, but in real life it doesn't happen cause there are no beds, it's a big mess hard to explain
Marshal Manson (8 months ago)
I don't really think telling my dad he's a queen will persuade him.
Nancy Kacey (7 days ago)
+belly tripper He's only being funny! You really HAVE to have a sense of humor when you're a caregiver or you'll go crazy and become depressed.
Man Hater (1 month ago)
LOL!!! dying
Moco Ganzo (2 months ago)
Don’t be a moron lol Use the techniques used and advice shared to customize it to your situation
Janelle (2 months ago)
Lmao
borelandfamily (2 months ago)
Tell him he's a king.
Magenta_ Nevaeh (8 months ago)
Going into a caregiving position in a couple of weeks I'm totally scared! For whatever reason I got teary-eyed watching this..I use to take care of my grandma and she passed away but I miss her and helping her get dressed....I'll be watching these videos to help me!
Yvonne. Stewart (1 month ago)
Just knowning you were there for your grandma in itself means a lot. You sound as if you have a care giving heart and you will do well. Just always remember that they are someone's love one too. Go for it babe!
LaViajerita 87 (1 month ago)
It's nice of you to want to persue caring for complete strangers. I work in the medical field and there is nothing worse than to hear nurses or doctors talk ill about their patients and/or family members. Many become so desensitized to the patients. You will have difficult and very disgusting situations. I care for my gmom (for free of course), it is hard, oh boy does she push my buttons but all the same time heartbreaking. Genuinely care for that elder person who will be under your care. If youre in for the money i'd say go somewhere else
Waldo S (2 months ago)
+belly tripper you are right about the sadness, but 1000 per minute (i know its an exageration, but no way its that well paid) if so, tell the secret.
Waldo S (2 months ago)
I have taken care of people with als, and its not black or white, some of them were easy to care for, some others not so much, .. most of the time the problems care from the family members, not the patient. in caregiving in general, the learning curb is difficult, you have to be patient for money, while the family expects you to care like if they meant your own life, its not realistic. it is very stressfull and the only thing that makes it worth it is a good pay. you will most likely emotionally involve yourself with your patient, 8 or 12 hours a day, dont go unnoticed, but its important to always look at it as a job, why? because 100% of the time the family will be judging you, and once they dont need your help (according to their google medical degree) they will without hesitation get rid of you.... my recommendation? do it, dont get paid under 25dls an hour, demand free paid days, and dont stress too much over whats going on, you are not getting paid to diagnose or come up with the next cure for cancer. oh.. and watch out, familys will want to use you as their own personal housekeeper, organizer, cook, pet sitter, kid sitter, grocery buyer, personal uber, abused physical therapist, massuist, and Ive seen caregivers even raking leaves, washing cars... etc. midterm and long term, I see studying as a better alternative, as you will eventually burn out as a caregiver, I see it everyday, 40yr olds caregiving, unhappy as can be. good luck Magenta!
belly tripper (5 months ago)
THEY CAN PAY YOU $1000 PER MINUTE TO TAKE CARE OF ALZ PATIENTS, BUT IT IS SO FVCKING DEPRESSING!! ***NO** AMOUNT OF MONEY CAN COUNTERACT THE SADNESS INVOLVED HERE!!
Joan Mc Grath (8 months ago)
How can any carer, cause terror to the sick eldery folk. Karma will get the evil carers.
Janet Savona (1 month ago)
Not easy
Hader Rules (9 months ago)
I find that putting a towel on the shower chair helps as well. It makes the chair softer and warmer.
Cherell LOVE (9 months ago)
makes you wonder how loving they are in homes where the older people are sent
Tessa Taylor-BSB (11 months ago)
I have tried. I am not getting anywhere. I keep sick and the neighbors keep getting sick, what should I do?
Kiley Perry (1 year ago)
An impressive “shocking cuno press” (Google it) loss of memory treatment. Few weeks have passed now, I could say that the way my memory responds grow faster. I`ve got dyslexia and it has helped me with tasks I do everyday at work and home. This is advisable for your brain to keep it more efficient as well as functional. Utilizing this is fulfilling..
Grant Putnam (1 year ago)
What happens when a kid refuses a shower? He gets a beating. What happens when a old person refuses a shower? They get codled. Fuck that shit.
Grant Putnam How stupid of you. The old ways of instilling fear to force compliance have by studies been proven to be ineffective And plus this is a patient with a disease that has no cure
Julia E Lozano Bowman (1 year ago)
Nice video but how to do it all sweetly and calm when you have 20 clients to yourself to change,dress and at least 6 baths that you have to do in an hour. #lifeasacna
Sarah Delaney (23 days ago)
+mary shaffer very galling, I totally agree.
mary shaffer (23 days ago)
It's galling to know each of those clients are worth thousands a month to a nursing home but they aren't treated as customers.
Sarah Delaney (1 month ago)
+Yvonne. Stewart and actually, yes, I do also have a grandmother in care. And her hospital is absolutely fantastic. It is about the only place I would trust to look after anyone. From my experience I have seen healthcare assistants who think it's ok to fling people around, not talk to them and be downright neglectful towards them. And from speaking to others, it seems to be a culture within the job in lots of places. where people think it's normal or ok, especially if they are in a rush. It's not. It's disgusting. And it makes me wonder can I continue down this career path with these neglectful, vile people who think it's ok to treat other humans like that because they have gotten so used to the job that the patient is just another chore to them and not a human. so much so that my own parents have stated they would like to be in a home when they're older and I have said under no circumstances, nor will I be in one from the crap I have seen. I hope none of ye saying any of these comments are these type of people because I'm disheartened with the job. And if anyone was found to be treating my grandmother like that there would be hell to pay. I go through my day in the hospital treating people exactly how I would want my grandmother to be treated and being in a rush is no excuse to fling people around like another chore. Simple as that.
Sarah Delaney (1 month ago)
+Yvonne. Stewart I am a healthcare assistant but thankyou for your reply
Yvonne. Stewart (1 month ago)
+Sarah Delaney sometimes its not always the patients thats difficult to work with its the family members. We understand that its your love one that we are providing care for. But family members also need to be more understanding because their love ones are not the only ones getting and need assistance. Please remember that! It works both ways. The less demanding you are the more attention we give within our power.
tvdavis (1 year ago)
Does anyone with a job & no one to help actually have TIME for all of this? I'm already exhausted from working a full time job, shopping, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, organizing medications, convincing them to eat... It seems like the more you do to help, the more helpless they become, and only seem to "remember" to do things they want to do.
crystal watson (9 days ago)
Clint has dementia its more stress on u so dont boher
Sierra P (19 days ago)
The best possible way to deal is to ask him/her to help you do these things. Ask them first to do it and if they have problems slowly calmly say you will do it together. You need to make sure that they are still using their moter skills as much as possible. Remember that dementia patients loss the ability to perform easy tasks and remember how to handle easy things like ( bathing, using the restroom, feeding themselves, or even swollowing). You should looking into in home care and see if your insurance will cover it. I run my own inhome care business which focuses on Dementia care. Its a very slow process which can some times be to much for one person to handle...and it is ok to feel frustrated! Take it day by day...call your insurance and ask if they cover in home care...call facilities and see if they provide services for non residents. Good luck! If anyone has any questions dont hesitate to ask!
Moco Ganzo (2 months ago)
tvdavis that’s why a loved one is the best caregiver. Endless love.
blue neighbourhood (2 months ago)
my mother’s job IS helping people like this.
Patty Digar (5 months ago)
tvdavis they do have adult daycare at most nursing homes to give you a break you might want to check into that because that's a very extremely hard job and it is 24/7
Core Cubed2 (1 year ago)
This is a common fear in those with Alzheimer's disease and can be very difficult to manage. These are great tips to try. Additional resources on Alzheimer's disease for family caregivers can be found here as well: http://www.partnersinhc.com/chronic-disease-management/alzheimers-disease/
Ascent (1 year ago)
That's nice but this really isn't addressing why people in very late stages, who can't walk by themselves, can't stand by themselves, can't feed themselves, can't speak, doesn't recognize people, stares off into space, and babbles 60% of the time they are awake (I mean just gone) still freaks out like crazy for even simple things like hair combing never mind, changing clothes, brushing teeth, toileting and bathing. Heck, even sitting him up or helping him sit back can bring with it violent yelling. I'm having a heck of time finding information on WHY this happens even after a person no longer really grasps the basic concept of hygiene. And if is a continued fear of being naked or water or something like that, why isn't 100% of the time and why is it really only profoundly out of control only occasionally? This is really what I'm looking for. We already know how to calm him down and get the tasks done.
Sierra P (19 days ago)
Dementia patients loose all reality of existance. They loose all the basic trying you get as a child. The outbursts are signs of frustration and embarrassment. Its not that they fear water...its the subconscious mind being embarrassed to be naked infront of someone " they dont know" or someone they still remember. I use bathing robes for my patients which is really just a towel that i made into a poncho...for those who allow me to shower or bath in a tub. For those who dont want to see either I give a bed bath which is just a soft wash cloth with a bucket of soapy water. There will never be any good answer to your wonderment...just remember that the person you remember is still there...just lost and confused. Care for him as much as you can or he will allow...if he doesn't want to be touch then...come back later. Slowly approach him and talk to him before you try and touch him. If he is calm...slowly touch his hand and ask him what he would like to do...if he doesnt speak dont worry...main thing is to let him know everyrhing you are going to do befor you do it and if he becomea aggressive...slowly back away and softly tell him ita going to be ok. Play his favorite music or a soft melody like classical music.
Camagu Siko (1 year ago)
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Camagu Siko (1 year ago)
HI GUYS
Lili Laichici (1 year ago)
can you make a video with residents are abuseing staff and manager is not doing nothing because they have "dementia" ?
Crazy Kitty (3 months ago)
I witness that situation from time to time once someone in my nursing home said bullshit to me while I was doing something else I busted out laughing she didn’t mean it
Sandeep Rai (1 year ago)
plzz call me 9862145048
Brenda G (1 year ago)
My dad has dementia with aggression and he hates taking a bath. Unfortunately he tends to have bowel incontinence, some days more than once and so we have to bathe him more than once in a day when that happens. Otherwise we try to just wipe him on the days he uses the toilet, but lately he hasn't been using it and just going in his diaper everyday. We try and talk to him nicely but he is quite disoriented and doesn't seem to grasp much of what we say. He tries to run away and it can be exhausting cause he is very mobile, fast, and still strong. We usually have to try several times before we can finally bathe him. Then add in the fact that many times he pooped in his diaper and was walking around scratching his butt a lot, causing the fecal matter to fall out of his diaper down his legs and onto the floors of our house. He then steps in it and spreads it all over the house. We cannot get him to sit down to stop stepping in the fecal matter because he doesn't want to listen to us so he just starts pacing back and forth throughout the house really fast, making a huge mess. And we cannot get him into the bathroom to take a shower either so it becomes very frustrating being helpless watching him making a huge mess of poop trail all over the house. He sometimes will pick up some poop with his hands and then smear it somewhere like on the wall or put it in a glass and hide it. Then he starts touching numerous items all over the house with his dirty hands so it becomes a disaster. Sometimes we have to have two people to bathe him because he will push to get away. I have tried over and over again talking to him, telling him there's nothing to worry about, it's okay. That we won't hurt him, we're just going to clean him, but he is very stubborn and still says no and runs or pushes us away. He becomes very hyper when he has just pooped on himself, making it even harder to clean and bathe him. When we try and explain that he is dirty and we need to clean him, that it will only take 5 minutes and then we will take him out or he can have some pizza or something like that, he insists that he is not dirty. So it seems that bribing him doesn't work either. We can show him that he has poop on himself and he will deny that he does even if he is staring right at the poop. I put on relaxing music too. We have to give him either a supplement for stress or anxiety and some medical cannabis so that we can bathe him, but even with that, it can still take up to 2 hours before we can finally convince him to bathe. And then comes the cleaning of the whole house of all that poop which usually takes 3 hours. Last week was the worst. I was by myself with my dad when he pooped in his diaper, and I cannot bathe him myself so I called 2 relatives to come over to help me. They couldn't come right away, took them over an hour and a half to come. In that hour and a half my dad must have pooped more and more and more poop was falling down his legs onto the floor and he wouldn't stop walking and stepping in it. By the time my relatives arrived, there were sections of the house with piles of poop along with streaks of poop in every room. It literally took me 7 hours to clean the house! And that was with the help of my relatives helping me to clean after they bathed my dad. Today my dad pooped in his pants FOUR TIMES! So we had to bathe him 4 times! I'm sure he didn't like it, but neither did we. We get exhausted having to clean him so often and bathe him. My dad acts like he is not afraid of bathing, like we are just bothering him instead. But he will push like hell to get away. We cannot keep spending hours everyday doing this and hours then cleaning up so much poop afterwards. When my dad was well, he was stubborn and defiant towards my mom and I and it almost feels like that part of him is even worse now. It also feels like he just wants to fight because he has never liked being told what to do. It is a nightmare,  to have little control over someone who you are trying to help. And for them to reject your help or fight you because they think they know what they are doing when they clearly don't. I am angry that there is not enough help provided to families who are taking care of a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer's. We do have a homecare nurse come 20 hours a week provided by the government, since my dad is on Medicaid. But 20 hours a week is not nearly enough for someone like my dad who needs constant monitoring and who is hyper and aggressive when trying to clean and can cause all kinds of messes around the house. We need at least 40-45 hours a week of a homecare caregiver but the government won't allow that...ridiculous. My dad touches so many things around the house that he ends up doing things that we never even thought of, like he stuffed the laundry sink with some napkins he had in his hand and ended up flooding the laundry room with water cause the washer was on, that leaked down into the ceiling of the basement. He flooded the bathroom once too cause he turned on the faucet, left it on and then closed the drain. He can cause a mess like this in a matter of 5 minutes. So our healthcare system sucks in America.
Moco Ganzo (2 months ago)
Brenda G its a horrible disease. Wouldn’t wish this even on evil people who may deserve it for being horrible people in their lives.
Bee bopa lula (3 months ago)
Oh Brenda, I feel your pain and can't help to be a little relieved that someone understands. We are going thru this with my dad..so many similarities in your story. My dad hides his poop in odd places..last time it was a shoe. He was a farmer and is very strong..old man strong. He is also still mobile. We put him in a care facility but they kicked him out because he would hit the care givers on many occasions and would bruise them. They sucked anyway..a few times we went past noon and he was in his pull up diaper wrapped in his bed sheet which told us they had not taken to breakfast or lunch.. He's now back home for 3 days and it's time for a bath. My husband a d I will be giving it a shot and that's why I'm here trying to get some tips. I saw your story a d my heart goes out to you. I feel the only way is gonna be thru force but I don't know..best of luck to you.
romzp (6 months ago)
Hi Brenda, gosh that sounds like a nightmare I'm sorry to hear about that. Just wondering if you are still caring for your father and/or if you found anything that worked? I might have some ideas if you still are.
Prestige Health (8 months ago)
I am so sorry to hear about the issues you and your family are having with your dad. It's extremely difficult to work with an aging senior, regardless of a present mental diagnosis or not. We're not doctors here at Prestige, but we've cared for countless aging seniors. From what you are describing, your dad has progressed in his staging. To combat bathing him so frequently, simply use baby wipes and a warm towel in the affected areas. An entire bath should be able to be avoided. Talk with his physician and ask if your Dad can be given a compound creme of Ativan. It's fast acting, can be used regularly as well as PRN, and helps calm the aggression and anxiety in the dementia patient. Unfortunately, our government takes no responsibility in providing long-term care in the home for its citizens. Most persons begin preparing by using a portion of their 401K to cover the cost of in-home care or set up health savings accounts early on to combat costs. Our government does, however, provide state-funded institutionalized living (nursing homes, assisted living, and sometimes independent living facilities) for its citizens receiving Social Security. I'm not sure how long you plan to keep your Dad home, but those are some options you all may want to consider. It would definitely have the pros of having trained professionals on deck to help take care of him, 24-hours a day.
Maxwell Bernstein (11 months ago)
+Brenda G. (But the video was beautiful. Thank you too.)
Charmer Gay Geronco (1 year ago)
Luckily for me my patient is not affraid to take bath☺ hope someday to incounter this so that i can exprience how to handle this type of patient☺
zudemaster (1 year ago)
02:00 This is getting hot.......
FairyGardens TV (3 months ago)
O__O
Sheila J (4 months ago)
I’m crying🤣
Your Ego (1 year ago)
zudemaster hahahhaaa I laughed out loud.
Excellent video! Excellent tips! What a wonderful, gentle, sensitive video! Thank you for sharing. When I was caring for Rose, I had to do just this with her. It is a great lost of their dignity. And it sure is difficult on the caregiver. The Inspired Caregiver book was created to help give peace and inspiration to the caregiver. I am concerned with the alarming rate dementia is growing. A caregiver will be a regular role in most families. Thank you again for such a compassionate, helpful video.
Kregg Kittelson (2 years ago)
Perispinal etanercept is an incredible healing drug that is injected in the back of the neck and the person is laid down on there stomach at about 10 degree angle for 5 minutes. there are many many videos on YouTube under that name of that medicine please research it. my name is Kregg..
Salah T (2 years ago)
Very helpful ! thanks for the video !!
Kregg Kittelson (2 years ago)
Perispinal etanercept cures dementia,
Bernadette Walker (2 years ago)
It is call caring that loved ones is taking good care of their body .I love how this daughter is being gentle and explains step by step what she is doing.
Seraphina Taylor (2 years ago)
thanks, helpful
Bird1044 (2 years ago)
Prep the shower keep the restroom 78 degrees, cover their back with a towel to keep them warm. Warm the tile or use a non slip bright color mat. Have the shower well lit. Dark is scary. I use a bucket and a chair. I have my dad help me so his motor skill kick in. I also tell dad that he's going to the dr. so he has to smell good. This technique works sometimes but not all the time. Be patient and take your time. Use baby shampoo or dry shampoo. Praise them as they shower never force it. Ask about their sibling or parents to keep the mind of subject. Good luck everyone! Take it day by day and get some rest and eat well for yourself. Some days will be better than others.. take it one day at a time...
Moco Ganzo (2 months ago)
Bird1044 very sound advice. Was peaceful just reading this.
Whizper2me (8 months ago)
Bird1044 thanks for this!
Maxwell Bernstein (11 months ago)
Dark/ low light is soothing for those in BWS.
ZeGypsy (2 years ago)
Is it just me or does this seem like a wonderful intro to a porno ?
Rosemarie Newton (10 months ago)
It is just you. Get help.
Stephanie Joudas (1 year ago)
nasty fuck
NordicOnur Honca (1 year ago)
ZeGypsy nothing needs to be said, it's a fact that your life is nothing but sadness and misery.
ZeGypsy (2 years ago)
Sick elderly people need dick too. Don't be a bigot.
IamCrazyChris (2 years ago)
+ZeGypsy Or maybe you're just a sick person. Joking about elderly that are affected by terrible afflictions...beware of karma.
Tual Gochin (2 years ago)
Thank you for sharing your brilliant video clips. It helps me my training course . May God bless.
Krun2k (3 years ago)
I'm my mother's caregiver and I couldn't even begin to bathe her twice a week. I kind of use twice a month as a rule for us because she hates being cold etc. Love these videos tho.
Krun2k (2 years ago)
WOW, I am so thankful for your response. I love all of the help you gave me. The one I can really use is the overheat the bathroom because she always freezes no matter how warm I think it is. My mom was an RN that had also worked in nursing homes and I know that I fail her in many ways except one, the one is that I love to care for her. I'd pray that everyone child can have the gift of taking care of their parent. Karen
Tom Bohley (2 years ago)
+Krun2k One thing I wish that they would have said is that there is no magic bullet here.  What will work for some people, at some times, may not always work.  Having said that here are a couple more approaches that I have had success with as a nurse on a dementia unit: 1. Keep the patient covered by a blanket the entire time- expose only the part of the body being washed, then dry and move on.  2. Reduce the strength of shower spray- too strong of a spray may actually be perceived as pain to the demented patient  3. Overheat the bathroom to near 80 degrees- yes it will be hot for you, but it will be more comfortable to the patient  4. Use very gentle massage like motions instead of scrubbing. 5. Smile- as dementia progresses, non-verbal cues can become more important. 6. If all else fails, stick with a sponge bath or bed bath. A quick sponge bath can easily be incorporated into the daily dressing routine and can be much less anxiety producing for the demented patient.   Good luck Krun2k! And thank you for caring for your mom. It is never recognized, but what you are doing is a heroic act! :)

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